I have been going over a lot of things lately and one thing keeps rearing it’s head. How a woman is defined as being the perfect partner!
Conversations have lead to women telling me:
- They don’t feel pretty
- They feel ugly
- They feel unappreciated
- They are undervalued
- They are ignored for the girl who got the “gorgeous genes”
- They feel depressed when shopping for clothes because NOTHING looks GOOD on them
- They’re fat
- They’re too chunky
- Their arms are too big
- They have a double chin
- They have belly rolls
- They can’t leave the house without makeup
- Their thighs touch
- They’re teeth aren’t white enough
I know I’m on the chunky curvy side of the scale but it amazes me how we are body shamed. Cause let’s face it, being overweight it worse than being a serial killer right?
Where in the world does it state that because I’m not thin, I’m less of a human being?
Because I don’t tick the society’s box of “beautiful” does that mean I not worthy of having someone come home to me? Am I not worthy of hugging another human being? Am I not worthy of kissing another human being or heaven above, want to show the person my desire and down right horniness and I want to get my leg over? Are my orgasms not worthy of another person’s desire? Am I not worthy of cuddling up with someone on the sofa because my thighs aren’t stick thin to leave a gap? Am I not worthy of holding another person’s hand while walking down the street because my tummy is big?
Am I not worthy of being able to walk into the garage to pay for my fuel without someone hurling abuse at me because I’ve got a large ass? Am I not worthy to treat my children to a meal out, without someone rudely telling their family, in front of mine, that they can’t sit by the “fat bitch”?
Am I not worthy of laughter, fun, happiness, joy? Am I not worthy of NOT being judged about my capabilities for my job because I’m not skinny?
Am I not worthy?
When people tell me they are looking for love, they don’t judge and want somebody who is amazing, well you’re talking shite through your arse!
You want someone who turns you on visually. You want a love based on looks. you want somebody amazing who makes you feel better about your own insecurities.
The woman who stands loyally by your side, who supports you in hard times. Encourages you to be the man you strive to be, Enriches your power like a King because she is Queen, is faithful, loves you unconditionally, praises you for your successes, picks you up after you wallow in self pity in the failures, that woman. no she’s not good enough.
She doesn’t have a Victoria Secret model body. She’s got stretch marks, she’s got flab – on her arms, legs, tummy, bum, she’s got a double chin, she’s got short arms, or she’s got glasses, and not the cute sexy secretary type either, she’s no make up or very little, she’s a little rough around the edges, she’s not perfect, but she’s real.
You can take a look at me and see my tummy. Look and you’ll see it has it’s own bar code made up of stretch marks. Does it look pretty. fuck no! but it protected my babies and helped them grow and develop to be born. I’m thankful for my tummy.
Let’s look at my boobs, are they perky and high? No. I’m nearly 40 and after two kids they’re not as round and perky anymore. Unlike other women who NEED to have their boobs filled with fake crap and have the porn star look, I love that my girls are real & fuck can I fill a bra out perfectly naturally thank you very much.
My Thighs. FUCK THEY TOUCH!!! Quick!! it’s a natural disaster!!!! What the living hell do you care if you have a gap or not? My daughter told me once, she has “mermaid thighs”…. when I asked her wtf did that mean she told me that they were that big they touched. Yet this is supposed to be a “positive” outlook instead of the body shaming?
My ass! My ass is huge! When I walk it chews a brick! I LOVE my ass. Because there’s plenty for you when I bend over and tell you to kiss it! And there’s plenty there to slap and grab. Why do we as women want a socialite’s ass when your own is perfect as it is.
My mouth. It’s got lips, they can move, my jaw moves, I can kiss softly and gently, I can tease, I can kiss you so god damn hard your hands will roam over my big ass quite happily!!! My mouth also talks. I can hold a conversation with you. tell you I missed you, I love you, it can ask how your day was, and ask what’s wrong baby? it can offer help, opinions, advice and solutions. I can soothe you when you need it and laugh at all your corny jokes.
My arms. They welcome you home, they say good morning, they say I missed you, they tell you your safe, they tell you you are not alone & they squeeze you that little bit tighter and little bit longer when you need it. They poke their elbows into your ribs in jest, they bump your shoulder when I call you a dork, they wrap themselves around you when we go to sleep.
So you tell me, does that define me as a perfect partner?
OK so what else does a woman need to be worthy?
confidence? self respect? self esteem? what about independence? financially secure? risk taker and working for herself? or just working for somebody else?what about her morals, beliefs? compassion? loyal? faithful? honest? supportive? helpful? caring?
When do we tell a woman or man, that they are enough and it’s nothing to do with how they look? what their body shape or size is?