It’s officially now been over a week since HE spoke to me oh the phone and said sorry then stopped talking to me again. 

Yet he still follows my social media & I him. 

Three years it took me to get over D. I won’t let it take me another three to get over him.  It I find it really hard to shut him outta my thoughts. 

I think if our previous conversations, how he made me laugh, he made me smile every single day. So it’s hard to ignore the bad when it was so good.

They say it takes 21 days to break a habit.  But will the pain go away by then? Does he think of me? Does he miss chatting with me? Probably not. I probably don’t even flicker on his mind. 

He certainly doesn’t want to talk to me that’s for sure. If that’s the case, why doesn’t he just unfriend me on social media and remove me?  He’s not letting go either tho god knows why. 

I miss him though. I miss hearing his voice. I miss his low tone, I miss hearing his laughter. I miss our random topics and griping about the world. 

The whole thing is screening with my head.

It doesn’t help that the viper is back in touch. He’s only after one thing and I refuse to be that person. He’s like jackal and hyde. One minute he’s ok and the next he makes me feel like I’m worthless. He hasn’t been in touch for such a long time and no matter how snarky I am & give as good as I get, he wants to play the power game. 

So between the hurt HE caused, the fuckage from the viper and my kid telling me she’s ready to start new, leave home and how her friend’s dad has judged her without even meeting her, my head feels like it’s exploded. That’s why I’ve a migraine. 

He’s never gonna call again is he?

I’m pathetic for missing him right? 

I’ve lost my backbone & stubborn spirit 

They will never know how deeply they cut you, will they? 

And they simply don’t care if they break you. 

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