I had a brilliant wee day being productive, my headache eased and my heart didn’t ache. There was nothing to overthink or question.

I wasn’t fighting or being annoyed by people, nobody pissed me off.

Now I’m home, I’ve got five minutes peace before bed and I’ve realised that I miss HIM. We don’t talk anymore, there’s no messages, no phone calls and it hurts more than when he stopped talking. 

Now my headache is back, I’m wondering should I txt him? Should I extend a gesture of friendship and make the first move or just wait till he wants to talk? What if he stops talking? What if he walks away again with no reason? Would I break again? 

I found myself unsure of what to say to him when we did speak, not only because I was hurt and angry but he made me doubt my words. He made me doubt how I am. How can someone do that? 

Nobody understands me either, they don’t get why I forgave him. 

I miss my friend.

I want rid of the head fuckage. 

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